Parent of the Week: Adri

Today we honor Adri. Adri is A-mazing. She's just full of joy and it comes across in her words and photos. She's also a singer- she wrote a lullaby for her baby girl and gave me permission to print the lyrics!! (They're at the bottom of her post). Okay- enjoy!

REMEMBER: If you’d like to be a Parent of the Week, or if you’d like to nominate someone, simply email me at deluna.jamie@gmail.com. It’s that easy!

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Tell me about your children.

I have two step-sons, Sephiroth (11) and Sebastian (10). Then, there is Serena, better known as "Critter". Critter is 11 months old and walking, practically running. The boys dote on their sister and she lights up when they come into the room. Seph is good with electronics, engineering, robotics. He's a wiz kid as long as he's doing a project that he thought of and not an assignment the teacher gave him. Sebastian is great with writing, video gaming, and make believe. He has such an imagination and writes incredible stories. Serena has been a constant blessing in an often stressful world. She loves to sing, dance, and beat out a rhythm. But, it is the three of them together along with their dad that bring deep joy to my life.

How did you meet your husband? Robert and I were good friends in the youth group at our church. I met him when I was 13 and he was 15. When he turned 18 we went our separate ways. It was in 2003, I was 23 and he was 25, that he came back to that same church and I was there...again. We started dating almost immediately and in 2007 we were married. It hasn't always been an easy road, but with God's help, everything that we have gone through has made our marriage stronger and everyday I love him a little bit more.

I would also like to take a minute to point out that my husband is a stay-at-home dad. He is incredible with Serena. From the moment she was born, he had stars in his eyes. For the first few weeks he was the only one that could calm her down when she got upset, which was rare because she is happy 95% of the time! Most mornings, Robert brings her to me (in bed) and I get to snuggle with her and then feed her and put her back to bed for her morning nap before I have to get ready for work. He knows how important that time is to me. Then, while I’m away, he sings the ABCs with her everyday, reads books with her, gets down on his knees and plays with her in her nursery, keeps her out in the yard while he gardens or straps her on his back when he cleans up around the house, and then spends time with both of us every evening when I get home. He has been with her everyday for the past 11 months and I do believe our family routine has contributed to Serena’s early development.

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Parent of the Week: Kim

Today we honor Kim, an artist momma (check out her website) with two blonde cuties! She’s adventurous, fun, and funny- you’ll just love her J

REMEMBER: If you’d like to be a Parent of the Week, or if you’d like to nominate someone, simply email me at deluna.jamie@gmail.com. It’s that easy!

Tell me a little about you- Who are you? What do you do? Hobbies? Do you dance in the car?

My name is Kim and I am a fun-loving, free spirit, active kind of girl.  I’m not afraid of having my kids think that I am a little crazy and yes, I absolutely dance in the car! I’m also an artist who recently opened my online boutique called Pretty Keepsakes. I make and design custom accessories for special occasions. I have a really unique and fun product line for Flower Girls, princess parties, birthday gifts, weddings and so forth. It’s my newest adventure and I’m really excited about it!

Tell me about your children

My husband Stefan and I have two crazy-fun kids that we adore.  We are one of those families that does everything together. We hike together, bike together, play together and laugh an awful lot together. Jake is our oldest and he just turned 6 ½ last week. We celebrated his half birthday with a gigantic donut. Ava is our youngest and she is 4 ½ . The kids are best friends and they are wonderful influences on each other. Jake is more reserved, athletic and everything that you would expect from a little boy. Ava is gregarious, fearless and all girly girl!  Together, they push each other in ways that they both benefit from individually and we grow and learn as a family. Living in the moment and being active in their lives means everything to us and so we try our best to be completely present with them whenever we are together.

What surprised you most about parenting?

Well, I am constantly surprised and amazed by the amount of laundry I do! I am also astonished by how quickly our home can go from clean to totally destroyed and I’m stunned when my kids they look at me as though I have twelve heads simply because I asked them if they want to eat the exact same thing that they have lived off of for the past two weeks. However, although the day-to-day things surprise me, I think that what surprised me the most about being a Mom is the sheer magnitude of how having a child changed every aspect of my life.  Having kids was never something that I dreamt about or dwelled upon. I was a 34 year old ski instructor, mountain bike guide and a Realtor who thought that I had it all when I married my husband. We loved our life, decided that it would be fun to have kids. I thought that my life really wouldn’t change that much when we had kids-I just thought that kids would be the “icing on the cake.”  Well, almost seven years later, it’s difficult to even recognize the person who I was before I had my kids! I had no idea that becoming a Mom would be so monumental and such an all-encompassing on-going experience. It has changed my priorities, heightened my life’s goals, expanded my ability and desire to love, care and nurture others and the list is never-ending. 

               

How have you had to be Avant Garde as a parent?

I believe that some of my most innovative parenting moments have come out of sheer desperation. For example, last spring break, I took the kids on a hike to a waterfall. The hike ended with a big uphill climb. I knew that I couldn’t carry both of them and my backpack up that hill and I also realized that they would be tired by the end of the hike. It was close to Easter, so before the hike, I covertly packed some plastic Easter eggs into my pack. After a long day of hiking, throwing rocks into the river and playing, it was time to head back to our car.  About ½ way up the ascent, I yelled with great enthusiasm “there goes the Easter Bunny!!!” I pointed in one direction and simultaneously placed an egg down on the ground in the opposite direction. After the commotion, the kids found the egg and started looking for more. I continued this all the way up the hill and my kids practically ran up the hill with all of their enthusiasm! They even yelled that they had just seen the Easter Bunny at times! It was so fun! You could call it Avant Garde, innovative or just plain loony parenting, but I feel that a little creativity can go a long way in regard to keeping everyone in the family happy. I realize what my desired goal is and if I can have a little fun reaching that goal instead of a major meltdown along the way, we all win!

Kim and Past Parents of the Week: Feel free to grab the Parent of the Week Badge:

<center><a href="http://avantgardeparenting.blogspot.com/"><img border="0" src=" http://i911.photobucket.com/albums/ac319/avantgardeparenting/ParentoftheWeek.jpg " /></a></center>
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Parent of the Week: Vivian

Meet Vivian- a mom and grandmother who is just delightful! Would you believe that this adventurous lady has jumped out a perfectly good airplane...something called skydiving... ;) Read on as she describes how the lessons she learned as a parent led her to create her very own business, which you can check out here!

As always, if you'd like to be a Parent of the Week or would like to nominate someone, email me at deluna.jamie@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

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My love affair with children’s picture books began over fifty years ago as I helped my mother turn the pages of THE LITTLE HOUSE by Virginia Lee Burton.  Even as a very young person, I knew that my life would be devoted to uplifting young children. 

Vivian's book art- her 3 children!

As a kindergarten and Head Start teacher in the New York City public schools, I implemented an innovative program, using daily picture book stories, simple craft projects and easy healthful cooking activities that helped build self-esteem and develop pre-literacy skills.  But, when my husband and I decided to start a family, we made the decision that I would quit teaching and stay at home to raise our children.

 

However, our finances (or lack of them) required a second income.  And that’s how my daycare operation for the children of local teachers began.  Now I could stay home with my children, while earning money at the same time.  For me, it was the ideal solution to a problem that many parents face.

Looking back, while it might have been an ideal situation for me, I know that if you had taken a survey of my husband and my own children, you would have gotten a very different impression.  My husband was a teacher at that time and he returned home from work at 3:30pm…to be greeted by a houseful of young children…the six children I watched in addition to our own three.  And, even though they were usually involved in constructive and educational play activities…nine children in one home equals, well, nine children. :)  My husband wanted me to be there for HIM…not busy changing several diapers or preparing afternoon snacks for a bunch of toddlers.  My own children also resented this intrusion…other children sitting in THEIR chairs, playing with THEIR toys, taking the time and attention of THEIR mother.  They didn’t voice their unhappiness at the time…but whenever we talk about it now, they tell me that it made them mad and sad. 

Vivian's daughter and grandson

I think that being a parent is the most challenging and difficult job in the world…whether you are a SAHM or SAHD, whether you work at home or work outside the home while raising your children, whether you volunteer part-time as a crossing guard or you work 50 plus hours a week in an executive level position.   What works for one person, may not work for another.  Each person’s family situation is unique.   I guess my advice to parents is that they need to communicate with each other and decide together what works best.  Talking really does help…our special place was in the car parked in the driveway after the kids were sleeping.  We felt we were away from the situation…no phones, no interruptions…but close enough if we were needed.  It worked for us (we celebrated our 43^rd anniversary last August) and hopefully our children (all grown with families of their own) have discovered their own ways of dealing with problems and situations that arise.

This past September, I was able to share the innovative and successful program that I developed while teaching and doing daycare when my new book for parents and teachers of preschoolers, SHOW ME HOW! BUILD YOUR CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM THROUGH READING, CRAFTING AND COOKING, was published.  It pinpoints 100 picture books every young child should hear and provides a story summary, gentle parenting tip, eco-friendly craft project and child-friendly healthful cooking activity for each recommended title.  This ultimate resource for busy parents builds self-esteem, develops pre-literacy skills and creates a life-long parent-child bond while giving parents a newfound sense of confidence in their own parenting abilities as well.

Vivian and Past Parents of the Week: Feel free to grab the Parent of the Week Badge:

<center><a href="http://avantgardeparenting.blogspot.com/"><img border="0" src=" http://i911.photobucket.com/albums/ac319/avantgardeparenting/ParentoftheWeek.jpg " /></a></center>

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Parent of the Week: Becky

This week's Parent of the Week, Becky, is not just an amazing mom but also a business owner! She makes these nifty seat covers that fit right over your dining chairs. They're waterproof, machine washable, and super cute. Check them out- but first, check out her Parent of the Week post!


As always, if you'd like to be a Parent of the Week or would like to nominate someone, email me at deluna.jamie@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

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Tell me a little about you- Who are you? What do you do? Hobbies? Do you dance in the car?

My name is Becky and I am a mother, wife, and, most recently, entrepreneur.  Now that my boys are both in school full time, I spend my days running my business and squeezing in some me-time when I can.  I love to work out and have become devoted to Pilates.  I also enjoy crossword puzzles, reading, and connecting with friends.

Tell me about your children.

I have two amazing boys, ages 6 and 8, who couldn’t be more different.  My oldest son has dark hair and dark brown eyes. He is tall and skinny, has an intense personality, and could play soccer every day.  His brother, in contrast, is fair with light hair and light eyes.  He is built like a line backer, has a sunny, light disposition, and excels in martial arts.  My mother-in-law, who is from South Africa, says that they are like chalk and cheese! 

What surprised you most about parenting?

How little control I actually have over who my children are!  It seems as though their personalities have been set in stone since they were born, and maybe even in utero.   My oldest is persistent, insatiably curious about the world around him, and active as can be.   When I was pregnant, he was so active that my stomach would literally move inches from his somersaults. His first words were “there” said with his finger and arm stretched out and “down” as he tried to jump head first out of my arms.   Now at 8, my oldest is an avid reader and learner, keeping his head buried in a book or persistently asking “why,” except of course when he is burning off his incredible energy.   My younger son is incredibly imaginative and generally happy and amiable.  Even as a baby, he was content to sit in the stroller or grocery cart and wave at the people passing by, saying, “hi” and “thank you” to anyone who would listen or give him a smile.  He lives in a world where superheroes save the day and everyday objects can become whatever you want – the only limit is his imagination, which appears to be endless. At 6 and in school full day, he is the mayor of the town; he knows everyone by name and is known by everyone too! 

How have you had to be Avant Garde as a parent?

I don’t know if I’ve been Avant Garde in my parenting, but I do think that I’ve been true to my boys’ personalities in the way that I parent them and that our lives are richer as a result.  My older son needs flexibility, choices, and a lot of room to run. He loves to challenge the rules and think outside of the box.  Too much rigidity doesn’t work for him and I’ve learned to pick my battles, offer him choices so that he has some control over his situation, and give him as many opportunities to run as possible.  And when given room to explore and question, my 8 year old comes up with clever ideas and solutions to problems that I never would have come up with on my own.  My younger son does better with rules, clear guidelines, and -- because he is so social and outgoing -- lots and lots of play dates.  When he understands what is expected of him and has had a chance to socialize with friends, my 6 year old bubbles over with entertaining stories that he is happy to share with me on our car rides and while cuddling before bed.  Parenting to their personalities instead of using a one-size-fits-all approach has really brought out the best in my boys. 

Becky and Past Parents of the Week: Feel free to grab the Parent of the Week Badge:

<center><a href="http://avantgardeparenting.blogspot.com/"><img border="0" src=" http://i911.photobucket.com/albums/ac319/avantgardeparenting/ParentoftheWeek.jpg " /></a></center>

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Avant Garde Parent of the Week: Kimberly

This week’s Avant Garde Parent of the Week is Kimberly from Stinker Pinkers! I love, love, love her and you will, too! Her blog is one of my daily reads and she has two of the CUTEST little boys on this green Earth. Enjoy!

As always, if you'd like to be a Parent of the Week or would like to nominate someone, email me at deluna.jamie@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

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First I'd like to thank my virtual BFF Allie over at Little Baby Fields for nominating me for this.  I will admit most weeks I don't feel like parent of the week...in fact most days I joke that I am not going to make Mother of the Year...again!  But parenting is a journey...so here we go! 

Tell me a little about you- Who are you? What do you do? Do you dance in the car?

My name is Kimberly and I am a new stay at home mom to my two little boys.  I run a blog called The Stinker Pinkers, which is a hodge-podge or a hot mess of my mommy life. I am a new transplant to Indiana from Minnesota.  I recently left my job as a Social Worker to move here for my husband’s job.  Speaking of husbands…I have one!  His name is Rich, we've been married for 6 years and he is a great dad and really should be the one featured as the parent of the week…he keeps me sane to be able to be a good mommy.   We also have a 4-year-old Shih Tzu who we adopted last spring named Phoebe and an 8-year-old cat named Bridget.  Both pets were named after my favorite TV or Movie Characters; Phoebe Buffet from Friends and Bridget from Bridget Jones Diary. 

I am an aspiring freelance writer hoping to make a go at that from home so I can continue to be available for my children even when they are in school.  I love to write and I am working on my writing skills.  What I lack in eloquence in my writing I make up for in personality…ha! ha!

I can’t say I “dance” in the car, I sway and “raise the roof.”  I suppose that is a form of dance…but I encourage the boys to car seat dance…that is where you are still safely buckled in but able to get your groove on!

Tell me about your kiddos

Oh my children.  My boys are wonderful, sweet, mischievous, curious, naughty and funny. I could rave about all their GREAT qualities and complain about all I have to work on with them, it’s a real balance!  Ian is 4 years old.  He is growing up so fast and I love the age he’s at.  He is old enough to help his brother with things and knows how to listen to directions when he chooses too.  He is in preschool, which he really loves and is a smart kid!  Dalton is 2 years old.  He has been walking since he was 9 months old and has not stopped moving since.  He is putting sentences together and plays well independently.   He likes trains, that’s his major interest at the moment.

What surprised you most about parenting?

I am going to sound totally naïve when I say this.  I had no idea when we choose to have children how hard it was going to be!  I must have read every book about being pregnant and forgot to study up on what happens after they are born.  The phases are the hardest. Because once you think you’ve mastered the phase they have immediately moved on to something new you have to work on with them.  People kept telling me when they were born, “enjoy it! The time goes so fast.” And I thought,  “oh my gosh!  That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.  I haven’t slept in 2 days and I have vomit on my shirt and they want me to enjoy this!” But now I do get it.  Time with your children does go quickly so I do try and savor the moments and the memories with them. 

What one tip would you give other parents? 

Don’t take yourself as a parent too seriously.  I sure don’t!  I think when we become parents we automatically think we have to be this strict disciplinarian, keep our children away from TV, and sing only songs that Barney would sing around the house.  One of the best things you can do for your children is make sure that they know you adore them and love them, but the world does not revolve around them.   It’s okay to be yourself and be a great parent.  I notice a lot of moms trying way to hard at being perfect and making sure their children have everything.  I think you should just be you and your kids will ultimately respect you for that!  Don’t be something you’re not!  As an example, I have two boys.  I have felt like I need to start liking sports and encouraging them to like sports.  Um…I am a girly girl.  I hate sports.  It’s not in my blood.  So I decided I would wear lots of pink, buy myself pretty Vera Bradley bags and stop trying to be the stereotypical mom of boys and just be who I am.  My boys like that their mama is a bit of a girly girl and I think it makes me a better mom because I’m being true to myself.

How have you had to be Avant Garde as a parent?

I was raised in a family of all girls.  So I have had to learn how to parent boys.  Girls play a little more quietly than boys.  My boys need to burn energy a few times a day.  It leads them to jumping off high surfaces and running around in circles.  Winter months are awful for moms with boys.  So I started exercising with my boys in the house when we can’t get out.  We use a lot of workout videos and dance music and we get into our work out clothes and 'burn baby burn!'  My boys think it’s fun that they are “exercising” and I get in a little workout and an activity.  Even if it only lasts 10-15 minutes it’s good for everyone! 

Thank you so much for allowing me to share some things about my family and why I love being a parent.  My favorite parenting quote is: “Parenting the days are long but the years are short!” There is no greater honor than to be chosen by God to parent a child! 

Kimberly and Past Parents of the Week: Feel free to grab the Parent of the Week Badge:

<center><a href="http://avantgardeparenting.blogspot.com/"><img border="0" src=" http://i911.photobucket.com/albums/ac319/avantgardeparenting/ParentoftheWeek.jpg " /></a></center>

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Who Takes Care of Mommy?

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Have you ever asked yourself this question? You take care of everyone else- you fill sippy cups, make lunches, take the dry cleaning, clean the toilets, and gosh knows what else, but who takes care of you? In fact, I read a recent blog entry that tackles just this topic. It’s called role conflict and it’s something that many moms face- trying to balance being a mom with being a wife with being a woman- it just sounds exhausting, doesn’t it?!

I don't want to forget my stay at home dads. The pull to take care of kids, clean house, maintain your role as a man, the husband, the dad, AND make it in a world other stay at home parents who are mostly female is by no means less stressful. 

So what can you do? It’s a tough situation. Things still have to get done. You still have to be the mom/dad. The wife/husband. The woman/man. Well, for starters, take a deep breath. Try to find some time to focus on you, even if it’s just five or ten minutes. The dry cleaning can be a day late and you can live with dirty toilets for a few days. You can also try a few tips offered by the American Psychological Association Help Center for managing stress.

Later this week, I’ll be attending a free forum on just this topic. It’s being put on by the University of Texas at Dallas Center for Children and Families- they’re bringing in Dr. Suniya Luthar, a well-known researcher on this topic. If you live in DFW, I’d encourage you to attend! It’s free, you get lunch (for free!), and you’ll learn a lot. I’ll be sure to update you all next week on what I learned J

Who takes care of you?

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Parenting Quick Challenge: Don't be Perfect

You’re not the perfect parent. There. I said it.

No one can be the perfect parent, including you. And while it’s great to try and be the best parent you can be, it’s not great to beat yourself up every time you make a mistake. Parenting mistakes are going to happen- you’re going to stifle a tantrum by shoving an order of french fries into the back seat and at some point you’ll probably end an argument with “Because I said so, THAT’S why!”

It’s good for your children to see that you’re not perfect. Can you imagine the pressure if they thought they had to live up to a perfect mom or dad? How stressful would that be?!

So here’s the challenge: Stop. Exhale. You’re doing a good job. Let yourself be perfectly imperfect.

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Parents of the Week: Kelli & Brendan

This week’s Avant Garde Parents of the Week are Kelli and Brendan. They are photographers and own and run Nine Photography. As if that doesn’t keep them busy enough (!) they also have a smart, cute, talented son whom they adore. Read on as Kelli and Brendan talk about balancing owning their own business and being parents.

And remember, if you would like to be an Avant Garde Parent of the Week or have someone you would like to nominate, please email me at deluna.jamie@gmail.com.

Photo by Nine Photography

Tell me a little about you...do you dance in the car?

We are professional photographers who own our own business. We basically love to do anything artistic, and of course, we are parents most importantly. Photography was our hobby, and so now since we do that all the time, we haven't really taken up anything else. When we have time, we are usually still shooting, just for fun though.  Oh yeah, we totally dance in our car.  And we're good.......VERY good.

Tell me a little about your kiddo

Our son, Grant, is 10 and he's in the 4th grade.  Kiddo (We call him kiddo A LOT) is so funny and has a dry sense of humor. Before we got married, we were in a comedy troupe, so now we love watching Saturday Night Live and comedy movies with our son. It's just sort of our family dynamic to appreciate comedians and funny people in general. So Grant has picked up on sketch writing lately. I used to write sketch comedy, so it's easy to talk about what is funny and what makes something funny to you personally. Grant will be like, "Wouldn't it be funny if you had a guy who was dressed up in a chicken costume and then he........". Or we will be watching a funny movie, and he will say, "That wasn't really funny." He's becoming quite the critic.  :)

Photo by Nine Photography

He is very good at sports. He pretty much loves to play and be active doing anything that involves running and/or throwing a ball. He does well in school. Although, as much as I'd love to say he LOOOOVES it, he definitely would rather be playing than reading or doing home work. But he is an "A-B" student, so we aren't complaining.

OH, and he is a HUGE animal lover. He says he wants to grow up and have a farm with a 100 dogs.  He is a stray dog magnet, and if we'd let him, he'd take each and every one of them home.

What surprised you most about parenting?

All of it. Parenting surprises us pretty much on a daily basis. Just when you think, "Alright, we got this." BAM! Your child will go through another stage in their life. And you do wonder what you can do better and try to figure out what doesn't work at all. Grant responds well to discipline when we just simply talk about it. If you yell at him, he is a very sensitive kid who takes things waaaaaay to heart. Discipline changes with each stage, so it's been a constant learning. Also, not to steal Art Linkletter's thunder, but kids really do say the darndest things. We are always surprised at things Grant will say and what he knows and his intuition and common sense. They know so much.  

What one tip would you give other parents?

As sappy as this sounds, cherish every moment and don't be too busy with other things.  If you have a busy job (like um, well, most of us do), make time every day to stop and listen to your kiddo.  They are awesome.

How have you had to be Avant Garde as a parent?

Owning your own business and working from home is such a challenge because you can literally work 12 hours a day.  Taking my own advice from question #4 has been the biggest thing we have had to do.  We have had to get very creative with time and family nights and keeping on a consistent schedule.  Since we work from home during the weekday and shoot on the weekends, we have found that doing something on a weekday is awesome for us.  We will have a family fun night on a Tuesday.  And usually we will have the whole place to ourselves because most families are having fun on the weekend.  We went bowling last Thursday and played laser tag, and we were literally the only people there.  It's almost like we have rented out places for the night just for us!  

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