Teens who Feel Responsible to Parents Fare Better in School

In a fascinating new study, researchers find that teens who feel a sense of responsibility toward their parents tend to do better in school. Interesting, huh? I know what you’re thinking – this website is about preschoolers. But preschoolers grow up to be teenagers. And parents are always concerned about how to help their children succeed in school. So I thought this was relevant J

The study followed children from 7^th to 9^th grade in both the United States and China and asked kids questions like, ‘How much time do you feel you need to spend with your parents?’ and ‘Do you try to do well in school in part to please your parents?’ When students were in 7^th grade, both American and Chinese students felt equal respect and responsibility toward their parents, but something interesting happened as they got older: American teenagers began to feel less responsible to their parents. This was not true, however, for Chinese teenagers. This is likely a difference between cultures.

But here’s where it gets really interesting. For both American and Chinese teens, those who felt a high sense of respect toward and responsibility to their parents got better grades and showed better attitudes for learning. Why? Well, we don’t know for sure, but it may have something to do with those teens and parents maintaining a close relationship with each other. One of the authors of the study suggests the importance of parents being involved in teens’ lives, which was also linked with teens’ feelings of responsibility toward their parents.

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Parent of the Week: Vivian

Meet Vivian- a mom and grandmother who is just delightful! Would you believe that this adventurous lady has jumped out a perfectly good airplane...something called skydiving... ;) Read on as she describes how the lessons she learned as a parent led her to create her very own business, which you can check out here!

As always, if you'd like to be a Parent of the Week or would like to nominate someone, email me at deluna.jamie@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

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My love affair with children’s picture books began over fifty years ago as I helped my mother turn the pages of THE LITTLE HOUSE by Virginia Lee Burton.  Even as a very young person, I knew that my life would be devoted to uplifting young children. 

Vivian's book art- her 3 children!

As a kindergarten and Head Start teacher in the New York City public schools, I implemented an innovative program, using daily picture book stories, simple craft projects and easy healthful cooking activities that helped build self-esteem and develop pre-literacy skills.  But, when my husband and I decided to start a family, we made the decision that I would quit teaching and stay at home to raise our children.

 

However, our finances (or lack of them) required a second income.  And that’s how my daycare operation for the children of local teachers began.  Now I could stay home with my children, while earning money at the same time.  For me, it was the ideal solution to a problem that many parents face.

Looking back, while it might have been an ideal situation for me, I know that if you had taken a survey of my husband and my own children, you would have gotten a very different impression.  My husband was a teacher at that time and he returned home from work at 3:30pm…to be greeted by a houseful of young children…the six children I watched in addition to our own three.  And, even though they were usually involved in constructive and educational play activities…nine children in one home equals, well, nine children. :)  My husband wanted me to be there for HIM…not busy changing several diapers or preparing afternoon snacks for a bunch of toddlers.  My own children also resented this intrusion…other children sitting in THEIR chairs, playing with THEIR toys, taking the time and attention of THEIR mother.  They didn’t voice their unhappiness at the time…but whenever we talk about it now, they tell me that it made them mad and sad. 

Vivian's daughter and grandson

I think that being a parent is the most challenging and difficult job in the world…whether you are a SAHM or SAHD, whether you work at home or work outside the home while raising your children, whether you volunteer part-time as a crossing guard or you work 50 plus hours a week in an executive level position.   What works for one person, may not work for another.  Each person’s family situation is unique.   I guess my advice to parents is that they need to communicate with each other and decide together what works best.  Talking really does help…our special place was in the car parked in the driveway after the kids were sleeping.  We felt we were away from the situation…no phones, no interruptions…but close enough if we were needed.  It worked for us (we celebrated our 43^rd anniversary last August) and hopefully our children (all grown with families of their own) have discovered their own ways of dealing with problems and situations that arise.

This past September, I was able to share the innovative and successful program that I developed while teaching and doing daycare when my new book for parents and teachers of preschoolers, SHOW ME HOW! BUILD YOUR CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM THROUGH READING, CRAFTING AND COOKING, was published.  It pinpoints 100 picture books every young child should hear and provides a story summary, gentle parenting tip, eco-friendly craft project and child-friendly healthful cooking activity for each recommended title.  This ultimate resource for busy parents builds self-esteem, develops pre-literacy skills and creates a life-long parent-child bond while giving parents a newfound sense of confidence in their own parenting abilities as well.

Vivian and Past Parents of the Week: Feel free to grab the Parent of the Week Badge:

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Parent of the Week: Jodi

I have a super awesome, unique Parent of the Week for you this week- Jodi! Two words: Homeschool. Disney. Eeeeee!!! I would have LOVED her homeschool approach when I was young! Go check it out after you read her Avant Garde Parent of the Week post.


As always, if you'd like to be a Parent of the Week or would like to nominate someone, email me at deluna.jamie@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

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Tell me a little about you- Who are you? What do you do? Hobbies? Do you dance in the car?

I am Jodi Whisenhunt, a Christian wife, mother, writer, editor, homeschooler, kid taxi and very tired person who is blessed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I run Magical Mouse Schoolhouse, where Disney IS school. It's a fun way to use Walt Disney entertainment to help kids learn while they play.

I've always loved to sing, and I do dance in the car. Trust me, you don't want me dancing anywhere else! 

Tell me about your children.

I have a 15-year-old son who plays JV baseball, loves cars and wants to be a police officer. I also have a 7-year-old daughter who lives for all things pink and sparkly. She wants to be a "maker" (chef) when she grows up and likes to experiment in my spice cabinet. My youngest is a 5-year-old boy. He is all giggles and energy and gets a kick out of beating Mom at Uno.

What surprised you most about parenting?

Well, I had always heard that boys are rambunctious and wild and spirited and that girls were, you know, "sugar and spice and everything nice." That's not the case in our house! My boys have always been the laid back ones, and my girlie girl is the mischievous one I have to keep an eye on. 

How have you had to be Avant Garde as a parent?

I homeschool. Need I say more? LOL! In all honesty, though, teaching my children at home has definitely exercised my creative side and keeps me looking for innovative ways to pique their interest in learning. Magical Mouse Schoolhouse is a perfect example of that effort.

Jodi and Past Parents of the Week: Feel free to grab the Parent of the Week Badge:

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Book Sharing with Your Little One

This one goes out to all the babies. All the babies who can’t read yet, which is, well, all of them. But there are plenty of things you parents can do with your little ones to get them familiar with books (and no, none of the things are the My Baby Can Read program. Or any other types of flash cards or ‘as seen on TV’ methods of teaching your infant to read, just in case you were wondering).

When is too early to start reading to my child?

Never! Incorporating books into your bedtime routine is a great way to introduce even the youngest bookworms to literacy and book sharing. You may find that a short, rhyming book will have a soothing tone for young babies, especially before bedtime.

What types of books should I be reading to my baby?

All kinds! Different types of books teach different things. Obviously, though, to babies, you wouldn’t read autobiographies or encyclopedias. Stick with picture books, rhyming books, board books, bathtub books (the plastic kind that are waterproof), and touch-and-feel books that stimulate a baby’s senses.

Don’t just read- explain.

Most babies’ books have very few words, so moms and dads- get creative! Tell your baby more about what’s going on in the book. ‘That’s rice cereal like you had this morning.’ ‘That’s a baby! That’s a puppy! Do you like puppies?’ Doing so will engage your baby with the pictures and your voice, allowing her to process the whole experience.

Don’t just read- point.

When you are explaining what’s going on in the story, try to do two things:

1.    Follow the text with your finger as you are reading. This lets your child know that text goes from left to right and has meaning, or is telling us what the story is about.

2.    Point to the objects you are talking about. This allows your child to make connections between what you are saying and what he’s seeing.

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Don’t just read- ask.

Even if your child is too young to answer, asking questions about what is in the book teaches valuable lessons- that your child will likely encounter once she’s in school. Ask your very young baby simple questions like ‘Where’s the chicken?’ Ask your older child tougher questions like ‘What do you think will happen next?’ or ‘Why do you think she decided to do that?’ If your child has trouble answering, use clues in the book to help her.


Should I be trying to teach my baby to read?
Nope. With babies, concentrate on meaning, not teaching reading or the alphabet, says Dr. Anne van Kleeck of the University of Texas at Dallas Center for Children and Families. Did you know that no study shows that children who learn to read before the age of five have any long term advantages? So relax and enjoy reading time with your child!

My child is not interested in books. Help!

I recently shared a guest post on just this topic! The blog is called Mad for Reading. It’s a great blog with lots of tips and ideas for reading with children.

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Handing Separation Anxiety With Your Preschooler

Separation anxiety can end up causing anxiety for both parent and child. For many moms and dads of young children, morning drop off at school or day care can end in tears for both the child and the parent. Here are some tips for a tear-free morning- every morning.

Have special toys that live in the car

Sometimes the toughest morning transition is getting your child out of the house and into the car. Shaking the ‘But I don’t wanna go to school’ blues can be hard, and hearing your child whine every. single. morning. can really test your patience. Try having a few special toys that ‘live in the car,’ and thus can only be played with while your child is riding in the car.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But what if my child throws a tantrum on the way home because she likes the toys so much and wants to take them inside and play with them?” Well, there are a few different options. First, you can be a really good marketer. If the toys who live in the car are, say, stuffed animals, maybe they go to sleep every time your child isn’t in the car playing with them and you act out a short (30 seconds) bedtime scenario as each car ride is coming to an end. This gives your child closure until the next car ride. Alternatively, you could choose toys that must stay in the car, like an activity set that attaches to your child’s car seat.

Know that your child will likely be fine

It’s true, what the care providers tell you- it is usually harder on the parents. Children usually do calm down fairly quickly after you leave. I know it’s not fun or easy, but trust that you’ve left your child in good hands. And know this- if you pick up a smiling, happy child, she’s probably had a pretty good day J


These are just a few quick tips to helping your child overcome separation anxiety!

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Communicating With Your Child Through Sign Language

Today I have a special treat- a guest post from early childhood experts Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas! They've shared some insight on signing with young children- I think you’ll enjoy this one!

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Possessing the ability to speak and communicate in more than one language in today's society is priceless.  This type of study usually begins in middle school or high school for many kids in America.  However, these days bilingual education is being taught at a younger age, before kids attend preschool, before they take their first step, and even before they say their first word- through sign language.

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The ability to communicate articulately in a variety of ways and languages to the widest possible audience is a great way to stay ahead and ensure a decent standard of living in our suffering economic state.  This is not limited to speaking different languages but also non-verbal communication: signing.

As a result of the shortage of American Sign Language interpreters the job opportunities in this field have really opened up, and if current trends continue, it is likely that will stay this way.

First Words

The toddler years and beyond – ages 2 to five –are an ample time to educate children in different modes of communication and language because of their brain development course. This goes beyond the spoken word (though it is an optimal time for children to learn a second language); many young children have an aptitude for signing as well.

American Indian nations have used sign language for centuries to facilitate communication with other tribes with whom they do not share a language. Some paleontologists and anthropologists theorize that Neanderthals – who apparently lacked the vocal mechanism to produce many spoken words – depended a great deal upon hand gestures to communicate. Therefore signing is not as strange as one would think!

In fact, recent research suggests that sign language is innate. An article published in the Boulder Daily Camera in 2003 presented strong evidence that babies as young as six months old communicate with their hands:

The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development is also referred to by the author, demonstrating that young children who are taught sign language at an early age, whether at day care or at home, actually develop better verbal skills as they get older. The ability to sign has also helped parents in communicating with autistic children; one parent reports that "using sign language allowed her to communicate with her [autistic] son and minimized his frustration...[he now] has an advanced vocabulary and excels in math, spelling and music" (Glarion, 2003).

Lasting Results

The benefits of early childhood education through signing are endless.  In addition to giving kids a way to communicate, it also provides them with an opportunity to form a bond with their parent(s).  The hope is that eventually signing will become known as one of the "firsts" that no parent wants to miss, such as the first time children walk or get their first tooth.  Signing is likely to allow communication much earlier than verbally.  It creates a closeness that will allow parents to be more in sync with their child's thoughts and needs.

Co-written by Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas

Emily and Kathleen are Communications Coordinators for the network of Austin day care facilities belonging to the AdvancED® accredited family of Primrose day care schools.  Primrose Schools are located in 16 states throughout the U.S. and are dedicated to delivering progressive, early childhood, Balanced Learning® curriculum throughout their preschools.

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Child Care Q&A

How can child care help my child?
A while ago, I told you about the long term effects of early child care. To summarize, children who experience high-quality child care when they are young show slightly better academic performance and fewer behavior problems when they are adolescents than children who experience lower quality care or no care at all. Although the effects are small, they are long lasting.


Can child care have any negative effects on my child?
Research does link longer hours (50-60+ hours per week) in child care with increased behavior problems in children and slightly more risky behavior and impulsivity in adolescents. Longer hours is often coupled with other factors such as too many kids in a classroom with too few caregivers or low-quality care in general, which could also contribute to outcomes like behavior problems.


How do I find high-quality child care for my children?

• High quality caregivers should be sensitive and responsive to children all the time, not just when they're upset.
• Look for a low child to caregiver ratio (fewer children per caregiver)
• Low turnover of staff
• High quality caregivers interact directly with children and get on their level (e.g., on the floor, sit at the table with them)
• Look for centers or classrooms that have a variety of age appropriate activities and games for children
• Look for classrooms that have activities that stimulate all the senses

What questions should I ask a potential child care facility?

Ask anything that comes to your mind, but here are a few suggestions:

• What is your policy regarding sick children?
• What is your discipline policy?
• What is your staff turnover rate?
• What is your caregiver-to-child ratio?
• What are your safety policies?
• Can I observe whenever I'd like to?
• What is your overall philosophy regarding child care?

Will I miss important moments/opportunities with my children by leaving them in child care?

This is what every parent feels guilty about. Guess what the research says? Parents have much more influence on their children's development, learning, and growth than what day care provides. Let me say that one more time. Parents matter more. So feel confident about your choice and know that you are making the best decision that you can for your children.

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Choosing a Babysitter: A Brief How-To

Caring for children is a sacred trust and when it comes to choosing who will care for your own when you’re not there, it’s a tough decision. If you don’t live near family, your options may be limited and often times you may find yourself wondering whether to trust someone younger than yourself (a teen or tween) to watch your children.

My two characteristics of a great babysitter would be the two S’s: Sensitivity and Safety. The caregiving literature overwhelmingly points to sensitivity as an important component of good caregiving. A sensitive caregiver can read children’s signals and respond to them warmly and appropriately. When interacting with a child, a sensitive caregiver can follow the child’s lead and keep the interaction at a good pace without controlling it. Think of it this way: When building a tower of Legos, a sensitive caregiver allows the child to lead the way, choosing which blocks to use, where to place them, and how tall to build the tower. She’s there for support, whether the child needs a hand to steady the tower, encouragement along the way, or a smile and a high five when he’s finished.

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A great babysitter should also have safety at the forefront of her mind. She should be able to handle stress, know who to call in an emergency, and not leave young children unattended. You, as the parent of the children being sat for, can help the babysitter be prepared for any emergency that might arise by leaving a list of helpful phone numbers (your cell, spouse/partner’s cell/pediatrician/poison control). You can also write out any specific house rules you’d like followed and leave them in a visible location, like on the fridge (e.g., don’t open the door for anyone, let the phone go to voicemail).

Okay, so now you know the two S’s – Sensitivity and Safety. How do you know if your potential babysitter has those two qualities? Here’s what I suggest:

Have the potential sitter over for an informal interview or meeting

•  Watch how she interacts with your child- Does she get down on your child’s level? How does she respond to your child? Does she make eye contact and speak directly to him? Does she quickly pick up on and expand upon the child’s interests? If your child is a baby, does she know how to hold him? Does she know appropriate strategies to comfort him when he is distressed?
• How does she interact with you? Does she seem confident? Is she able to express herself?
• Ask for references- Essentially, this is a job interview, so ask her for the names and numbers of a few adult references. Ask her about her past experience with children. Ask her what she would do in a hypothetical emergency situation or how she handles stress.
• Ask her outright- Questions that may feel awkward like ‘Do you know who to call in an emergency?’ or ‘What would you do first if my child was choking?’
• Tell her outright- Things like ‘My rule is that you don’t leave my child unattended at any time’ or ‘My rule is that you don’t open the door at all.’
• Do a trial run- When you can go somewhere close and for a short period of time, such as a neighbor’s house or a close restaurant for 30 or 45 minutes.
• Trust your instincts- At the end of the day, don’t leave your child with someone you don’t feel comfortable with. 

Classes

Parents of teens and tweens, preparing your daughter or son for possible emergency situations that could arise while babysitting is one of the most important and best things you can do. Below are a few resources available to help you find courses in your area.

• Red Cross – Enter your zip code to find CPR and other preparedness classes in your area
• Many hospitals offer babysitting preparedness courses for free or a nominal fee. Simply look up your local hospital’s website or call for information.

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Does Daycare Damage?

A few months back, I had the amazing opportunity to guest write for the official blog of the Center for Children and Families, a research, practice, and outreach organization at the University of Texas at Dallas. 

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The topic? Childcare. It's a hot topic that parents have polarizing opinions on. The truth is that while many parents would love to be able to stay home full time with their kids, they just can't. Many parents are concerned that childcare, for whatever reason, may damage their child.


So, does daycare damage children? The answer may surprise you...below is the post, and you can find the original here.

When I tell people I study parents and kids, I’m often asked, ‘Will day care damage my child?’  It’s a common concern--that hours spent away from you, the parent, and in the care of someone who is also watching several other children will somehow harm or damage your child.  The answer is no-- if your child is in high-quality child care.

A recent study shows that children actually benefit from high-quality child care in two important ways: better academics and fewer behavior problems.  The study, which followed a large number of children across America from birth until age 15, found that adolescents who experienced high-quality childcare when they were young performed slightly better on academic tests than adolescents who experienced low-quality care or no care outside the home.  The study also found that children who had experienced high-quality child care had fewer problem behaviors (like getting into fights or arguing) as teenagers. The effects of early child care experience were small but lasting.  Early high-quality child care appears to have some lasting effects on children’s development -- over 10 years later.

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These benefits pertain specifically to high-quality care. So what qualifies as ‘high-quality’?  The study defined high-quality care as care in which the provider interacts directly with children much of the time, is warm and supportive of children’s needs, and provides intellectual stimulation through games and other developmentally-appropriate activities.

Why would such child care result in higher test scores and fewer problem behaviors later in life?  Deborah Vandell, the lead author of the study, thinks it might be because higher quality child care provides children with early academic and social stimulation that readies them for school.  Children who receive sensitive care and quality stimulation starting early in life may have a head start on the skills they need to succeed in school.

Based on the study, here are some markers of high-quality childcare:

·     Classrooms with a low caregiver-child ratio (fewer children per caregiver) and low turnover of staff

·     Caregivers who are sensitive and responsive all the time, not just when children are upset

·     Classrooms with age-appropriate games and activities

·     Caregivers who get on the child’s level and interact directly with children

The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) can help you locate a high quality, accredited program in your area.

You can also visit your local Department of Family services website and view child care options in your area, including results of recent inspections and any licensing violations.

So, parents, put your minds at ease. The days your child spends at child care, if the care is high-quality, may be helping her more than you know! 

What do you think about childcare? Share your thoughts as this could be a great discussion!

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