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Friday, November 5, 2010

Tantrum Tip: Keep a Calm Voice


It sounds intuitive, doesn’t it? To keep a calm voice? But in that moment, that single, grating on your nerves, ‘I cannot believe my child is doing this right here, right now’ moment, it’s way easier said than done. But you must.

Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that yes, people will stare. They will stare as if their children have never, ever acted this way. Their children have acted this way. Everyone’s children have acted this way. Take another deep breath. And keep a calm voice.

“Sweetie, I hear that you really want to buy the [insert favorite, absolutely cannot live without toy name here]. We can’t get it today.”

And continue to remain calm. Raising your voice will only 1. Egg your child on and 2. Escalate the situation.

In contrast, calming your voice will encourage your child to mirror you and calm down. Sometimes it’s as simple as just acknowledging how your child feels with a simple, repeated, “I know, I know,” or "I hear that you're upset."

When you feel your child has calmed down enough to accept physical touch (and not 1. Scream, 2. Smack your hand away, or 3. Both), offer comfort: “Would you like a hug from me?”

Keep calm. Did it work?

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