I was recently reminded of a very important lesson:
Different things work for different parents.
So while I dole out advice, ideas, and research that may be helpful to you as a parent (and I hope they are helpful), it certainly isn't parenting gospel and it very well may not work for your family.
When I was in college, I worked with children who have attachment difficulties and their parents (what's attachment, you ask? Read about it here). The directors of our project had the following mantra, which, as a parenting researcher, I LOVE:
Parents generally: know their children better than anyone else, want the very best for their children, and are doing the absolute best they can.
This is so true and I remind myself of this every time someone asks me for parenting tips or advice.
My bestie recently gave birth to a precious, adorable, snuggly baby boy. She has commented to me more than once that she could read all the baby books in the world, but at the end of the day, she has to figure out what works for her and Baby P, whether it's in the books or not.
I think this is true of preschoolers, too. Preschoolers are all different and parents are all different. My advice? Read all you can about parenting. Arm yourself with lots of tools and ideas. But in the end- do what works for you and your child. Don't let someone (expert or not) make you feel bad or make you feel like you're not doing a good job. You are.
Repeat the following to yourself at least once a day: I am the best parent for my child.
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